This week, two women I love walked into medical conversations confident in the choices they had made for their babies.
Both were calm.
Both were informed.
They weren’t new to pushback.
What they weren’t prepared for was the shift in tone.
The moment they shared that they had chosen not to vaccinate, the atmosphere changed.
Questions stopped sounding curious and started feeling like a test.
In one conversation, the tone shifted subtly and other parenting choices were suddenly under scrutiny.
In another, laughter entered the room. Repeated warnings to “stop talking” followed.
And regardless of where someone stands on vaccination, that kind of response is not partnership.
No mother should have to worry about being mocked, dismissed, or spoken down to simply for bringing her child to a medical appointment.
I wish these stories were rare.
They aren’t.
I hear them often from other moms. It happened to me years ago too.
It shouldn’t be this way.
Everyone gets to choose what is best for their own families.
Just because a choice doesn’t align with what you would personally recommend does not make it wrong.
And it certainly doesn’t make it personal.
Disagreement does not excuse disrespect.
I understand that medical professionals are trained to recommend certain interventions. I don’t expect them to change their recommendations because of my family’s choices.
But I do expect respectful dialogue.
A nurse can recommend.
A parent can decline.
Both can remain professional.
Somewhere along the way, it feels like disagreement started being interpreted as defiance. Like a mother calmly saying “no” is somehow a threat.
It isn’t.
It is informed consent.
And informed consent only works when both “yes” and “no” are allowed to exist without punishment.
Mockery has no place in medicine.
Laughter at a mother’s lived experience does not build trust.
Silencing someone does not create confidence.
Confidence in your recommendation should not require belittling someone else.
And here’s what I want every mom to remember:
You do not have to match disrespect with disrespect.
You can stay calm.
You can stay steady.
You can decline without becoming defensive.
Strength does not need volume.
You are allowed to ask questions.
You are allowed to take time.
You are allowed to say no.
Even when someone in scrubs doesn’t like it.
We teach our children to speak kindly, even when they disagree. We teach them to listen before reacting.
Our medical spaces should model that same maturity.
Respect should not disappear when we disagree.
Until next time sweet Mommas
~ Christina 🌿